Aubrey Rachel Violet

Hello!

I’m Aubrey (she/her), a queer, white, cisgender, and chronically-ill psychotherapist and pleasure activist.

What is pleasure activism?

In the words of adrienne maree brown, pleasure activism is described as “the work we do to reclaim our whole, happy, and satisfiable selves from the impacts, delusions, and limitations of oppression and/or supremacy.”

This is a core value I infuse into all of my clinical work.

I strongly believe that the path to empowered embodiment lies in facing and integrating the shadow self, or what we commonly recognize as the more challenging and/or shame-inducing aspects of self. Stories - those we’ve been told, those we tell ourselves, and the ones we keep coming back to - play a fundamental role in how we engage with the world around us. One of our human superpowers lies in our ability to determine which stories we wish to align with, and which ones we wish to rewrite, reimagine, and/or rediscover. Through this intentional work of examining our depths and meaning making, I believe it is possible to discover and experience liberation, connection, and joy.

Clinical Identity

I’m an existential therapist who incorporates elements of narrative, feminist, emotionally-focused and Jungian therapy into my work. I offer pleasure-centered and affirming, sex- and sex-work-positive, anti-oppressive, anti-racist, and inclusive care, and I am trained to work with both individuals and family systems. This includes romantic partners, parents and children, and larger constellations of biological and/or chosen families and polycules.

Areas of Interest

I am extremely passionate about working with cis men to unravel maladaptive behaviors and beliefs rooted in patriarchy, as well as those who struggle with out of control sexual behavior - more commonly characterized as sex or porn addiction, and other compulsive erotic behaviors. Shame has no place in our sexual and erotic identities and experiences, and it is my goal to support folks in enthusiastically reconnecting with their pleasure and sensuality.

I also love working with individuals and relational systems exploring kink/BDSM, polyamory and non-monogamy, identity cultivation and reauthoring, consent and boundaries, grief and life transitions, as well as those who desire to build deeper connection and communication skills with others.

What is out of control sexual behavior?

OCSB is defined as a sexual health problem in which a man's consensual sexual urges, thoughts, or behaviors feel out of control (Braun-Harvey and Vigorito, 2016).

I do not align with the addictions model of treatment, instead I orient to my clinical work through the six principles of sexual health framework. I support clients in identifying and analyzing their sexual behavior to determine what is and is not working for them. From there we can collaborate on an erotic embodiment that feels empowering and authentic.

Therapeutic Nature

I orient to the role of the therapist from a deeply collaborative standpoint. Cultivating a client’s personal agency while also building a space for co-regulation between therapist and client is incredibly important to my values of inclusion, equity, and co-creation. I am direct and engaged with clients, offering psychoeducation, resource, and challenge where appropriate. Having lived many lives and walked many paths, I strive to bring to the therapy space a depth of presence, openness, grace, humor and compassion.